Hello there, November.
I want to thank you for the kindness you showed me last month about the return of this series. I got so many sweet comments and emails and I appreciate each and every one.
When you have been doing this as long as I have, it often feels like you are typing out into darkness and there is no one out there, but when you get to have a real conversation with someone, you are reminded why you come back to post time and time again. So thank you. I had no idea how much I needed that.
So tomorrow is a big day here in the US. Election Day is bringing out a lot of feelings and I’m already maxed out in the feelings departments.
I know that I will be glued to the TV even though it is not super healthy for me.
For someone that has spent over 40+ years of her life trying to not have a lot of feelings, 2020 has presented me with so many feelings, and let’s just say it’s been a lot. The news and social media are both triggers for me, and I need to take long breaks from them to regroup.
What I know to be true is that people that I love want a different outcome than I do and I need to be respectful of that.
They are also very upset with me for wanting that outcome. It’s something that I’ve had to learn to be ok with.
We have to live in a world where people that don’t agree can live together peacefully.
There are people who have opinions that do matter to me.
And even when you disagree on fundamental values and things, you need to find a way to coexist.
It’s hard, it takes a lot of patience and love and understanding, but you need to do it and hope that they do the same for you.
There are also a lot of people whose opinions do not matter to me. And those I’m happy to let go of.
I’m sure you have some too. The “friend” from high school you haven’t spoken to since graduation that only reaches out when they want to sell you something or the guy you briefly dated in college that was a jerk then and is still a jerk?
Those you can let go of without a second thought.
But there are people that you are going to have to figure out a way to be in relationship with when you know you have very different outlooks on the world.
The fighting and arguing and discord is just too much.
For starters, you aren’t going to change someone’s mind in a Facebook post, so I don’t understand why people feel the need to duke it out there.
Secondly, if you weren’t sitting behind a computer screen, would you say that to someone’s face?
I use that as a barometer for every single thing that I write on the Internet. People are very emboldened when they don’t have to look at the person they are speaking to.
I don’t think that the election is going to wrap up nicely on Election Night (even though that would be amazing) so we are going to have to pace ourselves.
For me, that means that I need to maybe take some breaks and go outside, take the dogs on some talks, get some fresh air, take some Twitter hiatuses, pepper in some vegetables with my junk food, and turn off the news and my phone. This is an exercise in self-care.
When the results do come out, we might not like the outcome. They might really upset us and make us feel powerless. Resist the urge to lash out.
If we do like the outcome, please don’t gloat or be the “I told you so” kind of person. Maybe take a step back and remember it’s just not nice.
This is going to be messy and I think we’re all going to be need to be extra kind to each other. And by extra kind, I mean, start being kind.
Extra kind might mean if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. It might be a good place to start.
The other elephant in the room is the fact that we are probably headed to another lockdown here in Massachusetts.
As of Friday, the high school had to go full remote and it knocked the wind out of my sails. We were doing so awesome and now our numbers are the highest they have ever been. It’s a gut punch.
So I guess the theme of October and November is self-care.
How can I take the best care of myself mentally to get through these challenging months?
- Get outside, even if it’s freezing. It’s amazing how much better I feel after some fresh air.
- Cook more. I know that sounds strange coming from me, but I’m either all in or all out with the cooking these days. It’s either a full-on 3-course home-cooked meal, take-out, or make yourself a bowl of cereal for dinner.
- Freely use the unfriend/unfollow button. I’ve been doing this a lot lately, and it’s been helping. I don’t believe in curating an experience where I only see people that are just like me, but I also don’t need to have bad juju up in my space either, there is a difference. It gives me a lot of peace.
- Cozy it up. Light the candles. Buy a new blanket. Cuddle clothes. Light a fire. If we can’t really go anywhere, we might as well get as comfy as we can, right?
- Do something nice for someone else. Even when you are stuck at home, there is still a lot you can do for someone. Send a card, a care package, a voice message. Check-in on a friend that might be lonely.
- When in doubt, Harry Styles.
OCTOBER HIGHLIGHTS //
Will’s Cross Country season was short, but we were so grateful for the Saturday meets. We had perfect weather, lots of PRs, and there is nothing more encouraging than watching a bunch of parent’s cheering for runners on a course.
Will is also taller than us now. Just barely, but it counts.
The dogs. They are idiots, but we love them so much. Beau is 13 weeks now and feisty. He and Mac Dubh love each other and play so well together. Two dogs really are easier than one. They cuddle together and it is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.
I took a solo day trip to the Cape to shoot my good friends Bill and Erica. It was soul food. Time alone in the car, the smell of the ocean, and adult conversation.
Going to the apple orchard with my friend Joy. She took my branding photos and we had such a good time together we decided to hang out. We went to pick apples and I am so grateful to have made a new friend. She also brought her camera and took some more photos. I’m trying to get better about having my picture taken. I suggest taking a pro with you.
My sister and her family came for a quick visit. I never remember to take pictures while they are here, but we had a great time. She made us a lasagna feast (3 different kinds!) and I love having them.
We had our first snow! I love a snow day and our first did not disappoint. I thought we were just going to get some flurries, but we actually had some real snow. Beau LOVED the snow. Watching him run in the snow and his ears flop was the cutest thing ever.
THINGS I’M LOVING //
My good friends Denise and Lenny love to travel and since they are unable to they decided to spend a month exploring a country. They spent a month in Italy and I loved following along in their Stories. One of the greatest gifts of the pandemic was all of the Zoomies I had with these two. I adore them.
Hey Dudes are the most comfortable house shoe/slipper. They are actually a real shoe, but I wear these as a slipper and I’m obsessed. I’ve been wearing these non-stop for the last 8-9 months (I bought my first pair a few weeks before lockdown) and I barely take them off.
I love a sweater or cardigan. I have a new-to-me store, FatFace, that has the best sweaters. I bought quite a few and I love them all.
I bought these wreath-making kits to be shipped to my sister and my house and we are going to make them together – but separately – a few days after Thanksgiving. The holidays are going to look different, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to be fun.
Cheeseboards for dinner. I really have been struggling with making dinner every night. Some nights I have the energy to do and some nights I don’t. But I usually can always get it together enough to throw together a fun cheeseboard and call it a meal.
Lush Bath Bombs are worth having to clean your tub afterward. When we moved houses, I got a big bathtub and I make sure to use it. I treat myself to a Lush Bath Bomb and dole them out as needed. They make a mess, but I am hypnotized watching them fizz in the warm water.
I may have purchased a few mugs to add to my holiday mug collection during the Anthropologie sale a few weeks ago. They are CUTE this year. I am so excited to show them off.
What have you been loving this month? Let me know in the comments.
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